Jamie Revisited

As a lifelong Liverpool supporter, I only have admiration for Jamie Carragher. His was not the silkiest of skill, but he was an effective squad player and one-club man, which is as rare as hen's teeth these days. A bloke fully deserving, therefore, of the famous Liverpool chant ripped right out of The Beatles' ‘Yellow Submarine’, in which Reds supporters ‘dream of a team of Carraghers’

I’ll admit I still can’t understand a single word he says, given that he speaks in pure Scouse. Which might be why Carra still complains that Spanish left back Jose Enrique never listened to him on the field when they played together. I sometimes wonder whether an interpreter would have been assigned to Carra had he moved to another club in England, given that his natterings are as unintelligible as the speech of Sir Alex Ferguson. And let’s face it, we still can’t understand the old Glaswegian goat either, even after a quarter of a century spent listening to his ramblings.

It’s hard to get over the unnatural ways in which Carra’s lips twist whenever he talks. It’s like you’re watching the wings of a hummingbird batting at the speed of light! Little wonder then, that you can’t understand a damn thing whenever he speaks. It’s not that I’m complaining. for I actually find these heavy British dialects to be an important part of football’s character, reminding us of the humble origins from which countless footballing legends are born.

I also don’t think there’s two better pundits in the English game right now than our Jamie and his old nemesis Gary Neville. And few may recall Carra’s analysis of Euro 2012, the last major football tournament that preceded this year’s World Cup. Our Jamie raised a few eyebrows after that tournament – not least mine – when he said that the English Premier League (EPL) needs to sign more world class players.

Hold on. The EPL (always THE HIVE of transfer activity in world football) needs to sign more world class players?! To emphasise his point, Carra said that not one of the players picked in his Euro 2012 team of the tournament plied their trade in the EPL. A team of the tournament, incidentally, which looked like this:

Goalkeeper:                      
Iker Casillas (Spain – a lot can change in 2 years eh?)

Defenders:                        
Jordi Alba (Spain), Pepe (Portugal), Pique (Spain), Philipp Lahm (Germany)

Midfielders:                      
Xabi Alonso (Spain), Andrea Pirlo (Italy), Moutinho (Portugal), Andres Iniesta (Spain)

Strikers:                              
Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal), Cesc Fabregas (Spain)

 

 

 

Coincidence perhaps? I decided to take a look at the World Cup 2014 team of the tournament, just to see whether this was the case. Unfortunately our Jamie did not pick a side this time around, so to add some objectivity to the exercise, I took a look at the first eleven that were selected based on the Castrol Performance Index. For the uninitiated, the Castrol Index:

‘uses mathematical formulas which evaluate various player performances in terms of how individual actions either assist or prevent goals. The system takes into account the strength of the opposition and the time in a game the player's actions occurred’

Sheesh, that sounds quite scientific! Castrol’s first 11 were the following:

Goalkeeper:                      
Manuel Neuer (Germany)

Defenders:                        
Stefan de Vrij (Holland), Mats Hummels (Germany), Thiago Silva (Brazil), Marcos Rojo (Argentina)

Midfielders:                      
Toni Kroos (Germany), Oscar (Brazil), Philipp Lahm (Germany), James Rodriguez (Colombia)

Strikers:                              
Arjen Robben (Holland), Thomas Mueller (Germany)

One player from the EPL? Now that’s an improvement in two years! Hold on, Rojo just signed for Manchester United yesterday. So that’s Oscar at Chelsea and Rojo (post-World Cup) at Manyoo. But two out of eleven is hardly an overwhelming ratio!

I recently told my Spanish mate Jorge over a cheeky pint, that if you had to squeeze the EPL like a wet rag, the only drops of world class quality that would fall out of it would be Yaya Toure, Luis Suarez (since departed to Barcelona), Oscar, David Silva and Ozil (despite recent criticism of his ‘hot and cold’ form). My amigo nodded his head in slow agreement, since by world class quality we meant players who could turn a game at the highest level, and whose all round game was peerless.

And as excited as I’ve been about the start of the EPL, the current transfer window doesn’t seem to be doing much to improve the quality of foreign imports, despite the zillions being forked out. Some might protest that Arsenal have brought in Alexis Sanchez and claim that Chelsea (who presently seem to be the only English club capable of attracting genuine world class quality) recently secured Fabregas, Costa, Luis and Courtois. Be that as it may, but what about clubs outside of London? Why do they never seem to land any of the world’s top top stars, despite the large amounts of cash at their disposal?

 

Manchester United have long been talking about their hundreds of millions, but it remains to be seen whether or not they finally manage to land a star that’s white hot property, in the form of a Mats Hummels or an Arturo Vidal. Personally, I’d be bowled over if that happens, for why should Hummels or Vidal trade clubs like Borussia Dortmund or Juventus for one that’s not even in the Champions League, and whose overall quality is still highly questionable?

True, Man United have brought in Van Gaal. But if you were Mats Hummels, why would you play for a side that still trails the big three (Real Madrid, Barcelona, Bayern Munich) when you’re currently viewed as the world’s best central defender and you can pick and choose as you please? Mats Hummels wants both European and domestic silverware, not an FA Cup or a Premier League trophy. He would walk into any team of his choice right now, and I’ll be stunned if a United deal is sealed before deadline day.

Even more shocking is the case of De Vrij (rated by Castrol as the World Cup’s best defender)! Also a player who reached the semis of the last World Cup actually playing for Van Gaal himself, and who traded Feyenoord for Lazio in the Serie A, thereby ignoring Man United’s overtures! If there was ever proof that most top class players cannot be secured by Man United, look no further than this Dutch youth. And it’s not as if the United hierarchy can claim that De Vrij’s decision to head to Rome was the fact that Man United were not in this season’s Champions League, because Lazio are not in any European competition either! All of which makes United’s acquisition of Rojo yesterday all the more surprising, even though they did huff and puff all summer to finally clinch the deal.

United’s remaining targets Vidal and Pogba also fit the top notch category, but I’ll also be amazed if they trade Juventus for United. You’d think that the only thing that would lure them to a Manchester without European nights is a truckload of ridiculous cash, but even this hasn’t given them itchy feet. Come to think of it, if players only moved for the money, then Man City should already boast Messi and Schweinsteiger, with Neuer in goal instead of Joe Hart, and Chelsea would have signed half the Spanish and Portuguese national team by now. But it doesn’t happen. Why?

My uncle (also a raving football tragic) and I were trying to work it out a couple of weeks back over lunch. We’ve both watched loads of football throughout the years, but we could not find an answer. My uncle reckons that England is not an attractive destination when compared to the likes of Italy or Spain, or even Bavaria. I’m somewhat inclined to agree, especially after gnashing my teeth in frustration when Alexis Sanchez chose to move to Arsenal instead of Liverpool because he’d rather live in London.

But perhaps another less-trumpeted cause might be that although the EPL’s marketing is extremely well-packaged, its quality is in fact not the best in the world. It is true that the odd foreign star sometimes appears in it as a manager (Laudrup, Koeman) or player (Klinsmann, Zola, Torres), yet the veneer of respectability they give it does not seem to increase its standing with players at the very top level of the game.

 

 

 

Perhaps the constant headlines about EPL transfer activity might give a perception of too much glitz and bling, leaving top players to turn numb to it as they question its substance. These are after all players who are serious about their profession, who want to play at the very top and win things domestically and internationally. No one can tell me that a player like De Vrij was without an abundance of suitors in the Premiership. Yet he chose Lazio, in the much derided Serie A which is supposed to have lost its pulling power and yet still attracts the likes of Miroslav Klose and Cuadrado. A league that has developed legends like Ibrahimovic and Cavani, who are both players that never considered England as a viable career option and even preferred a move to France instead.

I think another problem afflicting the EPL is that there hasn’t been a world class English side for a few years now. Man Utd’s nosedive last year didn’t help matters, although they have always been seen as a team that runs riot in England due to the lack of quality in the EPL rather than their own strength, a fact constantly underlined by their failings in the Champions League. Chelsea are perceived to have won the Champions League in 2011 – 2012 more by default than by merit, and are more famous for their owner than for their brand of anti-football. Arsenal and Liverpool are disjointed and consistently inconsistent. Spurs are never going to be a serious destination of choice for a top player, whilst Man City, for all their money, are still regarded as a bit of an aberration in European competition.

Add the fact that the only English city seen as an attractive destination to foreign players is London, and the decision of many top stars becomes even more understandable. Which is not to say that every foreign player ignores the EPL. Young foreign players see it as a solid phase of their development, as well as a shop window for La Liga. It’s also a place where they can earn crazy money. Foreign stars past their peak seem to view the EPL as a pre-MLS retirement stop to earn crazy money, like Yaya Toure. Another disadvantage faced by the EPL is the interminable and uninterrupted length of its calendar, which leaves top players to ask why they should bother playing in English club football if they want to be fresh for international tournaments with their national sides.

So in truth a closer look at the EPL leaves us with a fair few hints as to why a world class player prefers Continental shores to English ones, despite the ridiculous amounts of money offered by the foreign owners of EPL sides. Instead of splashing this cash, English clubs would in fact be better off going down the route followed by German clubs, and give up signing a big wet pile of foreign mediocrity to instead funnel their money into their youth systems. That is if they are truly serious about dominating Europe, instead of lining the pockets of football agents instead.

The EPL has a feel about it that is just too mercenary, no matter how often jingos like Harry Redknapp beat their chest and shout that it is ‘the best league in the world’. This is not to say that it is not exciting - or one of Europe’s top four leagues - but it remains both astonishing and amusing how the world’s highest earning league (EPL sides earned a combined $4.19 billion in the 2012-2013 season) struggles so much to attract top bracket stars to English shores.

Despite the early-90s conversion from the old English first division to the supposedly ‘sexier’ EPL, the world’s top players still seem to prefer spending their peak years in Spain, Germany and Italy. And given that the EPL  already makes a greater profit than other national leagues, any marked improvement in the quality of foreign imports seems quite far off at present. Until any change occurs (if indeed it ever does), EPL fans will continue to be splashed with the cold water of stark realisation at each Euro and World Cup, undergoing what our Jamie describes (in English) as:

‘a process of self-revelation where everyone realises how insular English football can be and how much further we have to go’

Couldn’t have put it better myself, but sod all the pundits and scientific experts! The game is as much about fun as it is about quality, and like everyone else, I’m just delighted that the EPL is back!