Nanny State

Is the western world becoming one big overregulated nanny state? We inevitably always point the finger at China, but are the warnings contained in George Orwell’s 1984 finally ringing true?

I was in a bar in Byron Bay a few years back, a bit beyond tipsy which I thought was par for the course, given that I was in a bar. Earlier my Spanish mate Jorge and I had managed to walk all the way up to the lighthouse without stepping on a brown snake or being bitten by a funnel-web and it seemed a better excuse than most to get slaughtered (and over time I’ve had some really bad ones). So I staggered up to the counter and asked the barmaid for another two Peronis, proffering a red lobster (twenty dollar note) in her direction. She shot back a look of disgust and rasped at me.

‘How much have you had to drink?’

Admittedly since the move to Sydney my alcohol intake has sunk to ridiculously low levels and two beers already had me feeling quite light-headed. So it was no lie when I replied:

‘A couple.’

The barmaid was having none of it and it took my most pitiful ‘Puss in Boots’ stare out of Shrek II to finally get her to give me another drink. 

By the time I’d reached the dance floor again to flop about some young birds that had just turned up, a squat and short skinhead of a bouncer cut a swift and diagonal beeline for me and whispered threateningly in my ear.

‘You look like you need a breath of fresh air mate.’

By no means am I a risk taker, so I obliged the little tosser by walking out of the club. There see? I’m a good boy. I could easily have floored the little runt and made a dash for it, although take it from me: in Australia (or any other country for that matter), a brush with a bouncer could be your last, no matter how famous or athletic you think you are.

But incidents like this have had me thinking: are we being overcontrolled? Isn’t the whole point of going out on the town to get drunk? Besides, although I’m not sure where my eyes went, I didn’t touch anyone, nor did I succeed in spilling a drink on anybody (a fate that often seems to befall me in nightclubs). So am I being unreasonable in stating that we’re living in a society whose institutions and figures of authority are always falling over themselves to appear to be politically correct? 


I mean on one hand it’s also true that figures of authority (if indeed a bouncer does fall under this category) get bagged a bit too much, and I guess guys like Lotito (President of Roman club SS Lazio) is to be admired for his sporting attitude after his club lost the Rome derby when saying that institutions and referees should be accorded more respect (despite questionable decisions of the referee in a game that cost his club at least a point.)

 

 

But aren’t vehement protests also in order when good faith is not accorded to citizens by those same institutions? How can you explain not being allowed to be seen carrying a bottle of booze in the street, or having to show up with a doctor’s prescription at the pharmacy all the time? Why is it that everyone except the ‘pirates’ have got to watch the same old stupid ‘piracy is a crime’ clip whenever they rent a dvd?

And it’s the same in football. There’s the vid tech, but FIFA instead gets its panties in a wad about creating a 'technical area' (a square box literally used to keep a coach from pacing too far during a match) or appointing a fourth official to make sure managers don’t raise their voices too high or players don’t take their shirts off after scoring. What a load of absolute pizzle! And therefore overregulation raises its ugly head again whilst the really important things are overlooked. So because figures of authority lack the cookies to show some muscle with real offenders, the rest of us have to be patronised and told how to breathe. It’s really becoming a bit too much.

So much so that today a manager cannot even select a team of players he wants to play. You read that right. Today the English Premier League (EPL) risks losing its brightest young English manager because they might fine him for picking a team that almost beat Aston Villa. Why? Because they think the team was weakened by his selection. It’s an absolute farce if you ask me. In a league where a messianic manager who does the impossible (Chris Hughton at Newcastle) is risking getting the chop because of an unlikely defeat to Blackburn, can the EPL seriously think that a manager would willingly play other players in his 25 man squad in a bid to lose a game?!

The roots of this problem lie in last year’s EPL season when something happened which passed by almost unnoticed. In short, Wolves manager Mick McCarthy dropped ten players from his first team squad which went on to face Manchester United and end up on the wrong side of a 3-0 stuffing. The EPL stepped in and fined Wolves for their first team coach’s squad selection, quoting rule E20 from their rulebook. Which is really stretching the wording of the law when you consider that all rule E20 says is that ‘a team should field its full strength lineup.’

When I heard of this absurd action by the EPL I was sure it would send shockwaves running through the world of football and draw rants and raves from McCarthy (if not the whole football world). Instead, Ireland’s Captain Fantastic took the decision squarely on the chin without so much as batting an eyelid (ever since the days of his head to head with Roy Keane during the 2002 world cup, Mick appears a manager who tries to sidestep controversy and a guy that prefers his team’s actions on the pitch to do the talking.) So McCarthy was silently punished for picking his own team which, as a manager, you’d think he had every right to do. On their part the EPL dished out a hefty fine to a smaller club of a few hundred thousand pounds before returning to their offices in the West End to further discuss important things like the 39^th game for a few more decades. 

Evidently they thought that the matter was done and dusted and that (in the words of McCarthy) a precedent had been set: if we think you’ve been naughty, boys, you’ll get a slap on the wrist. And before this season began, everyone seemed willing to toe the line.

When along came Ian Holloway, lovingly known by his growing list of admirers as ‘Olly, fly in the EPL ointment extraordinaire. After his charges’ gruelling encounter with Everton on Sunday 6th Nov, 'Olly dropped none less than ten first team players to play Aston Villa last Wednesday (10th Nov), his choice flying straight into the face of the EPL’s sanction against Wolves. For horror! William Tell forgot to bow to the overlord's hat! Ever an entertainer of the passionate variety, Holloway went on to engage in an endless post-match rant and rave, passionately defending his selection when it was suggested by journalists that he would be penalised by the EPL for dropping ten players.

This is going to be a real appetiser. The institutional bully of the EPL having no choice but to take on the voice of world football’s inconvenient truths. The EPL looks like it’s being left with little choice but to investigate the most outspoken manager since Jose Mourinho, a guy who’s not about to take anything on the chin, or anywhere else, without good reason.

You’ve just got to laugh. It’s just ludicrous, another case of an institution being strong with the weak and weak with the strong. Does anyone ever investigate Sir Alex Ferguson or Arsene Wenger when they decide to rest some players at Manchester United or Arsenal? Was Rafa Benitez ever fined for his rotation policy when manager of Liverpool FC? Or should UEFA perhaps punish Roy Hodgson because he fielded a weakened side against Napoli in the Europa League a few weeks back? The EPL should really be ashamed of themselves. Or alternatively, they should really try and save face by refunding Wolves last’s season’s fine and leaving Blackpool well alone. As pointed out by ‘Olly himself, Manchester United almost got the same result against Aston Villa themselves a few days after he fielded his controversial selection. And as admitted by Villa manager Gerard Houllier, ‘Olly’s irascible starting lineup had Aston Villa completely confused and almost won Blackpool the game.

If Allegri at AC Milan or Real Madrid’s Mourinho rang the changes to their side, will they be fined? Will Alex Ferguson be fined for not picking Rooney for such a long period of time even though the latter has admitted that he’s not really injured? Of course not, and therein lies the problem with applying rule E20 in such an overzealous, irrational manner. Unless there’s concrete proof of purposely fielding a weaker side or of match-fixing, the regulator should have no choice but to assume good faith on behalf of the coach and respect his selections. Can you force a player to score a goal regardless of whether Drogba or Sturridge is picked? Or are the EPL also going to try and locate the intent behind a keeper’s clanger to check if Van Der Sar was just securing a last season pay out with the bookies?

 

 

 

The league is heading into dangerous waters if it keeps up with this lunacy. They are actually paying people to investigate whether some players are better than others: that’s what it boils down to isn’t it? So some of the money paid by people to watch EPL football in the comfort of their own sofa is going towards paying these buffoons, a handful of bureaucrats, paid to investigate whether world cup veterans like Australia’s David Carney or Ghana’s Richard Kingson can contribute to a full strength squad! I must say, it’s both patronising and ludicrous.

What's also being overlooked is that ‘Olly gave a chance to four new English players in his new starting lineup (Southern having played in previous games), two of whom are EPL veterans anyway (Ormerod, Euell) and the other two new players who put in impressive debuts, with Phillips chosen again in Blackpool’s following game against West Ham. The rest of the foreign contingent that were selected were by no means football novices having played in leagues like the Dutch Eredivisie or French Ligue 1. So for blooding two promising young English players (who put in a great debut) and giving them a stab at glory, ‘Olly now faces an investigation and a fine. 

What a joke are the EPL, a competition that does an almighty zilch and wholehearted nought towards developing the game at grass-roots level in England, to the complete detriment of the national team, reducing the latest beleaguered England manager Fabio Capello to having to pick the benches of Premier league clubs and the championship (England's second division) in order to snuff out a snitch of English talent. It’s completely pathetic, and the EPL, despite being a league that earns millions, is the top tier league of a nation that always lags behind when it comes to youth development, unlike the Germans who of late seem to all too often have it right, with their rules forcing 12 homegrown players (and eligible to represent Germany) to be on the books of each team playing in the Bundlesliga.

The truth is that some action must now be taken, with the EPL’s punishment against Wolves last season leaving them between a rock and a hard place. McCarthy has justifiably heaped the pressure upon them further, having claimed that after the fine he suffered last year, action must now be taken against Blackpool FC. Indeed what’s good for the goose should be good for the gander. On his part, ‘Olly has stoked the pressure up to boiling point by claiming that if the EPL interfere with his team selection, he’ll quit. It will be a crying shame if he does and a much poorer EPL for it. ‘Olly and his band of journeymen and unknown upstarts (DJ Campbell sounds like some character straight out of a Guy Ritchie flick) have really brightened up the Premier league this year and his rants, about Wayne Rooney in particular, have been priceless.


‘Olly calls it as he sees it, which is why in an ideal world he would eventually become England manager and eventually head of the EPL. Of course there is as much chance of this happening as Brian Clough ever had of becoming England manager. After all, ‘Olly and institutions do not commonly sit in the same sentence, unlike a Russian owner and mystery, for example. But if this really is the end and the curtain’s almost about to fall, then thank you ‘Olly. We have enjoyed every step of the journey with you.